Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
