hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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