I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
