I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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