I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
