the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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