hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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