At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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