it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
