i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
