I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Apparently you make a good broom.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
No subtext here. People are naked.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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