He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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