new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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