So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
