Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
NoShamevember. You game?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
