I think i peed on brittanys purse
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
