i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
