I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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