There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
