They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
