my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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