I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
