i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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