this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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