FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
