you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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