North Korea, Best Korea!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
