just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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