He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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