I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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