i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
