What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
