Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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