I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
