those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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