You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
