please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
A+ Viking dick
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
