Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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