I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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