So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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