Where did you get a picture of my penis
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I believe in your delicious
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
