I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Enjoy the penises
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
