So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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