So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
