I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
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