That's intense
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
