Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
