no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I need moral support for this bender
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize