Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize