It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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