Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think my moral compass just broke
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
