She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
tell me about the eggs
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
