oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
