im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
