yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
