You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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