I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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