Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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