I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
