she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
