Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
