i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
