she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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