umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
