I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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