Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
