Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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