he puts the penis in happiness.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
