You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
